What My Kittens Taught Me About Trusting Your Calling
Last year I adopted two kittens, a brother and sister named Rocky and Katie. They were about ten weeks old when I got them. Once they got home, it was clear that neither of them had ever been free to develop their jumping skills. Initially, Katie did much better than Rocky. She was clearly the larger of them and more in control of her muscles, so she scaled impressive distances long before Rocky did. However, I noticed that there were some big jumps that she missed as did Rocky, but both reached different conclusions. He kept jumping until he perfected his skills and licked his fur when he missed. Katie, on the other hand, soon lost all confidence.
Sadly, Katie never believed in herself and quickly gave up attempting any jumps at all. Every morning, after I get out of the shower, Rocky jumps on the bathroom counter to examine all my "get ready for the day" paraphernalia. Katie, on the other hand, stands on her hind legs to look at the countertop. Then she meows pitifully, hoping that I'll lift her up so she can explore, too.
I recognized something in Katie's surrender that felt uncomfortably familiar — because I've done the exact same thing to myself, just with bigger stakes than a kitchen countertop.
There is a huge lesson in this and it's the importance of believing in yourself, believing in what you're doing, and knowing/deciding on some deep inner level that you'll be able to pull it off. If you lack that trust in yourself and make no effort, no matter how hard you wish, dream and desire, you will not be able to manifest your desired outcome.
Recently, I read the memoirs of two people: the writer Sari Botton, who desperately wanted to be a writer and despite many setbacks, became one, and Bruce Springsteen, who desperately wanted to become a rock star when he was a teenager. Both achieved their dreams, but not because anyone handed them any opportunities on a silver platter or made things easy for them. Both worked hard toward their goals. Both had an inherent belief in their ability to make it work. Both made lots of mistakes. Neither gave up on themselves no matter how hard the going had gotten.
No matter what you want to do in life, you have got to dredge up the belief in yourself. It doesn't matter whether anyone else believes in you and your gifts. Sari Botton surely got no encouragement. Some in the music industry feared that Springsteen's Nebraska album might be commercially unsuccessful and disappoint his fans. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your dream, gifts, innate abilities, or your ability to pull it off. The only thing that matters is your belief in yourself, knowing that for whatever reason, the gods have given you a dream and/or a talent worth pursuing. Then do your best. Put in the work and the practice for the sheer joy of it. Cut yourself some slack: mistakes and missteps are par for the course and nothing to freak out about.
It also doesn't matter how old you are. Some folks are lucky in that they find their calling early in life. Others (like me) find it in middle age or even old age. Just go for it when that calling comes and know that creativity and manifestation are your uniquely human superpowers and you and the world will be better off for you taking the leap.
If Katie's story resonated with you, it might be worth exploring what's really behind your own hesitation. I offer sessions to help people reconnect with their inner knowing — feel free to reach out if that's something you're curious about.